Today I just feel really miserable...
I don't even have any idea what I want right now...
The tears are only running down through my cheeks...
Without even giving me a clue why I must feels this way...
Every single little thing I did was only dragging me
into the bad feelings...
Everything seems really hard and pushes me deep down...
I want myself to be much more relaxed...
And accept all the things
as well as going through over the flow fluency...
So many things that I have to be done
before start kick my ass to studying and preparing for the final exam...
Actually, I already promised myself that I will put a lot of effort...
In order to get higher and better result...
But as I am trying to finish every tasks...
Then another tasks will arrive...
When all these "F...word" tasks will stop...
From bothering me in my way to achieve what I want...
I want to be the same old AZIE...
Just like who I am before...
Who was very determine in whatever she's been doing...
Who was really have the strong attitude indeed...
In achieving whatever she's been dreamed off...
Who was can going through all the saddest...
And hardest things...
All by herself...
Without even throwing a word of complaining...
But now, I just realize that AZIE was gone...
The only left is the girl who is very fragile...
To everything which comes in front of her...
All she knows is crying...
Giving up...
When she feels bad...
When she feels hard...
When she feels upset...
When she feels things does not goes as what she wanted it to be...
The girl who will only complaint about others...
See people on their bad side...
Without even try to look at the good side of people...
The girl who does not have the strengthen faith on herself...
I wish I can control everything...
I wish I can be the strong AZIE as before...
I wish I go through whatever that comes over me bravely...
I wish I can be strong...
I wish I can be everything...
But...
The question is...
Can I be like that...???
Without facing any difficulties...
Of course...
I already knew the answer...
I JUST CAN'T...!!!!
I don't even have any idea what I want right now...
The tears are only running down through my cheeks...
Without even giving me a clue why I must feels this way...
Every single little thing I did was only dragging me
into the bad feelings...
Everything seems really hard and pushes me deep down...
I want myself to be much more relaxed...
And accept all the things
as well as going through over the flow fluency...
So many things that I have to be done
before start kick my ass to studying and preparing for the final exam...
Actually, I already promised myself that I will put a lot of effort...
In order to get higher and better result...
But as I am trying to finish every tasks...
Then another tasks will arrive...
When all these "F...word" tasks will stop...
From bothering me in my way to achieve what I want...
I want to be the same old AZIE...
Just like who I am before...
Who was very determine in whatever she's been doing...
Who was really have the strong attitude indeed...
In achieving whatever she's been dreamed off...
Who was can going through all the saddest...
And hardest things...
All by herself...
Without even throwing a word of complaining...
But now, I just realize that AZIE was gone...
The only left is the girl who is very fragile...
To everything which comes in front of her...
All she knows is crying...
Giving up...
When she feels bad...
When she feels hard...
When she feels upset...
When she feels things does not goes as what she wanted it to be...
The girl who will only complaint about others...
See people on their bad side...
Without even try to look at the good side of people...
The girl who does not have the strengthen faith on herself...
I wish I can control everything...
I wish I can be the strong AZIE as before...
I wish I go through whatever that comes over me bravely...
I wish I can be strong...
I wish I can be everything...
But...
The question is...
Can I be like that...???
Without facing any difficulties...
Of course...
I already knew the answer...
I JUST CAN'T...!!!!
6 comments:
azie, life is like that..
mst ada hard time..
and sometimes mmg akan rasa mcm susah sgt nk face life ni..
but, u knw wat..
every single thing yg kite face ni, sbnrnya kita mmg mampu hadapi..
Allah bg dugaan setakat yg mmpu kita hadapi..
and, i knw you dear..
u really a tough and strong girl..
give sometime to yourself and start back okay?
believe in yourself that u can, thats the most important thing yeah..
take care dear.. :)
tq dya for ur concern...
also for ur advice...
it just like sometime i cannot face all the hardest things...
insyaallah...
i will and i can be much more stronger to face the life...
i am really a tough and strong girl???
do i???
i hope so...
and once again, tq so much dya...
for being such a good friend...
love ya!!
dear,
remember kes kantoi masa kita form 4?
the thing jadi isu besar, plus dgn kawan close yg betray ko that time.. it was really a hard time kan?
but look at yourself that time.. you moved forward and lead a great life at home.. and did well in spm, masuk matrix, and last end up kat UUM!
rasa2 nya, banyak mana org yg bole jadi mcm ko? thats show u r really strong dear.. not everyone can face things like u did.. :)
even aku, kat tmpt ko, myb aku xleh nk capai mcm ko capai.. aku akan sgt down, dah give-up and bla bla bla.. but not u!
that was then i know dear, u r strong, stronger than what i thought earlier..
so, dear, kamu mmg strong! dont ever deny that..
and.. whenever u down, or sad.. there's always strength.. but u need to be very determine in finding it.. good luck dear.. :)
azie, love kamu juga.. take care ya!
yer lar...
huhu...
that time all in my mind was I want to show all the people who talk bad things about me, that I can do it..I am able to go further...And also I am not that kind "jahat" and bad attitude girl...
I don't really know if I am succeed...
But I satisfied with my life now...
Thanks Dya...
I am really appreciate my friendship with u...I means we were not really close during our secondary school..But now I realize u r one of my truly valuable friends...
skola dlu ada psg surut nye.. biasa la.. ada yg hasut.. hehe.. u know la kan?
p/s: u can always count on me dear.. :) i'll try the best as i can for u..
aah ek..
close friends aku since skola pon da jarang2 contact da skg eh...
biase ah...
zaman remaja...
hahahaha...
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