Monday, June 29, 2009

The quick post.


I have not been in a good condition these few days. And my brain seems stopped functioning. I just cannot think any topic to be talk in here.

To be inform that we, my former batch back to SMKGR's years will be having our "Slumber BBQ Party" at Sasha's place. This coming Friday.

A few internal conflicts arose but we managed to settle everything. No worries. No tears. No fights. No tensions. No depressions.

I just cannot wait for it. But, a lot of preparations must be done before the party. Huhu.

PS. I'm afraid if some friends will get heart attack by seeing my "new" fatty body. Haha.

PPS. What else can I sponsor? Spaghetti confirm. Else? Hmm..

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Loneliness? Depression? Stressful? Dissapointed? I am OKAY..!!!



Everyone in this huge world will experience the feeling of loneliness. In fact everyone will struggling to avoid that feeling.

Loneliness is always be a very hurtful feeling. Sometime I will never can manage to avoid the feeling of being lonely. Even though laughter is everywhere. Even though I was surrounded with the most wonderful people in the world. Somehow, the feeling of loneliness will keep coming to me.

It really hurts to be lonely. It always be the greatest need to be in loving relationship. I will feel very lonely when I don't feel the connection between me and the person I love and care about.

At the end of the day I will feel so stressed. I will feel so depressed. The feeling of depression will come to be friend with the feeling with loneliness.As usual, people who are lonely are usually depressed.

Whenever I feel lonely, I will definitely will feel like crying. Sometimes I wish someone could hold me. Give me the most warmth hug in the world. Sometime I feel like screaming so loud. With hope that the feeling of loneliness will go away from me. And with the hope that the desire of being held and admired by someone will vanish. Sometime I will like to spend the entire day in the empty room. Just me.

I will never give up to pray to the Divine that He will grant me a strength to face all this hurtful feelings. And maybe He will generously give me some courage to tell myself that I must get used with that feeling of loneliness. Freak! I don't want to get used to it. But the pain of being alone, is very difficult for me to bare.

P/S: It is really sad and pathetic when you are actually hoping someone to give you a ring but he never do that. The more you are hoping, the more you get disappointed. So, give up hoping. Just let it be. Live your life.

P/P/S: My dear bloggers, please be noted that I am not sad. I am just disappointing.

P/P/P/S: I still know how to smile. Hehe. senyum


blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Sesi mengulangkaji matapelajaran Bahasa Malaysia. Dari Jia.


Tugasan tag kali ini datangnya daripada Puan Aziha. Seorang teman baru saya melalui teknologi canggih yang dikenali sebagai internet ini.

Saya telah diamanahkan untuk menjawab tugasan tag ini dengan menggunakan bahasa ibunda kite, iaitu Bahasa Malaysia yang tercinta. Disebabkan peraturan untuk menjawab tag ini ialah menjawab dengan Bahasa Malaysia, maka secara tidak langsung saya juga turut menjalani sesi ulangkaji matapelajaran Bahasa Malaysia. heehee


Selamat menjawab soalan dalam Bahasa Malaysia!

TAG 1
  1. Bekas kekasih saya adalah : Merupakan seorang anak sulung.
  2. Saya sedang mendengar : Bunyi ayam berkokok.
  3. Mungkin saya patut: Betulkan kembali aturan masa tidur saya.
  4. Saya suka : Menjerit. MAK selalu berkata "tak manis anak dara menjerit-jerit"
  5. Sahabat-sahabat baik saya : Semua sayangkan saya. Kerana saya sayangkan mereka.
  6. Saya tak paham : Kenapa cinta memberi saya merasai kesakitan. Padahal cinta itu adalah indah.
  7. Saya kehilangan : Kata-kata jika berdepan dengan seseorang yang pendiam. Haha!
  8. Ramai yang berkata : Saya sudah gemuk!! Cesss!!
  9. Makna nama saya : Seorang yang cantik agaknya. Haha! Perasan!
  10. Cinta itu adalah : Tidak menentu. Kadang kala membuat saya bahagia seperti di awang-awangan. Kadang kala menyakitkan.
  11. Di suatu tempat, seseorang sedang : Tidur.
  12. Saya akan cuba : Untuk tidak menyentuh nasi esok. Saya mesti memulakan kembali program diet sebelum semester baru akan bermula.
  13. Ayat SELAMANYA membawa maksud : Sehingga nafas yang terakhir.
  14. Telefon bimbit saya : Senyap sahaja hari ini.
  15. Bila saya terjaga dari tidur : Perkara pertama yang akan saya lakukan ialah mencari telefon bimbit.
  16. Saya paling meluat apabila : Orang memandang sinis terhadap saya.
  17. Pesta/Parti adalah : Menggembirakan.
  18. Haiwan yang paling comel yang saya pernah temui ialah : Saya tidak mempunyai idea kerana saya tidak suka haiwan. Maaf.
  19. Peringkat umur yang paling menyeronokkan bagi saya ialah : Zaman anak kecil saya. Kerana tidak ada masalah yang merunsingkan kepala.
  20. Hari ini : Sangat panas.
  21. Malam ini saya akan : Tidur.
  22. Esok pula saya akan : Tidur. Sehingga tengahari. Haha.
  23. Saya betul-betul inginkan : Kedamaian jiwa kerana jiwa saya kacau sejak kebelakangan ini.
  24. Ketika anda lihat wajah anda di hadapan cermin pagi ini : Saya tidak lihat muka saya pada waktu pagi kerana saya bangun paling awal pukul12 tengahari.
  25. Pusat membeli-belah atau arked permainan : Pusat membeli-belah. Suka!!
  26. Makanan Barat atau Jepun : Makanan Barat.
  27. Bilik yang terang atau gelap: Gelap.
  28. Makanan segera adalah : Makanan yang dimasak secara segera. Haha.
  29. Ayat terakhir yang anda katakan pada seseorang? I love you.

TAG2
  1. Apakah perasaan anda sekarang? Runsing.
  2. Saya nak makan? Laksa. Tadi seseorang memberitahu bahawa dia membeli sebungkus laksa di pasar malam. Sedap!
  3. Saya tak suka? Bangun pagi. Haha.
  4. Impian saya? Menjadi anak yang baik dan mampu membuat MAK dan ABAH gembira sepanjang hayat mereka.
  5. Haiwan yang saya tak suka? Kesemua jenis haiwan.
  6. Saya harapkan? Hujan akan turun pada malam ini.
  7. Jika boleh putarkan masa? Saya nak betulkan apa-apa kesalahan yang telah saya lakukan.
  8. Saya pada 10 tahun akan datang? Sudah mempunyai sebuah keluarga yang terdiri daripada seorang suami dan 3 orang anak.
  9. Handphone saya adalah sebuah? Barang yang sangat penting dan wajib ada di sisi saya.
  10. Saya pernah bercinta sebanyak? Sekali. Cinta monyet? Sekali juga.
  11. Kawan-kawan saya? Terdiri daripada pelbagai bangsa.
  12. Pernah dikhianati? Selalu.
  13. Apa yang hendak anda lakukan terhadap orang yang mengkhianati anda? Saya hanya berserah kepada Allah S.W.T.
  14. Siapa yang anda nak Tag? Dzul Nyet, Sopiah, Hany Bany, Lean, Hazali, Dya (Walaupun Jia sudah menge"tag" beliau) dan Hana Fedora.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Someone is upset with me.



I am a fool.
I am a dumb.
I am too far from being perfect.
Above all, I am totally a mess!!

I am truly, deeply sorry.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Mari mewarna rambut.


I was planned to color my hair. Due to my hair that grew longer and longer day by day. The color seemed faded away. My previous hair color was Natural Blonde by Revlon.

So, last Monday, I bought this color. Actually I wanted to buy the same color like the previous one. But I changed my mind. So, I bought this color.


Bright Auburn by Revlon


As usual, I don't really like to do hair coloring at Saloon. I think I can do it at home by myself. Just buy the color then do it at home. At the same time I can save my hair coloring budget. Haha.

So, that Monday's night, very late at night actually, I did the coloring alone. I left it on my hair around only 40minutes because I felt like sleepy. Really sleepy. I washed my hair. Then as a result, the color seems didn't work at all. Hmmm..Padan muka I!! Tak sabar lagi!!

Today, I woke up late. As usual. After took bath, I borrowed ABAH's car. I went to Guardian to buy the color for the second time.

Hmmm..No stock for Bright Auburn color. Frust!!


I made up my mind. Okay! Let's go for this color!


Strawberry Blonde by Revlon


This was my hair color before I re-colored it back.




GEMOK (my younger bro) gave an extra hand for me to re-color my hair. He did the spreading the colors on all over my hair. Thanks GEM!! Love you!

And this is the result.




Yes people. The same question keeps hitting me now. The color just like my previous hair color!!! Arghh!! Tension!! Nak color macam kat kotak tue!!

blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

P/S: Maybe self-coloring at home just not a good idea.

P/P/S: ABAH!! Nak duit! Nak g Saloon!!

P/P/P/S: Ker ader saper2 nak sponsor I? Haha!! Kidding!!celebrate

Update!! Credit to Dya.


Updated!!


Before corrected by Dya.

Thanks a lot dear.

blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

Thursday, June 18, 2009

It was only 3 hours left. But I already missed her now.


Sms from ADIK:
"Sis, pinjam kete kau jumaat sampai ahad. Aku nak g Penang. Kawan aku kawen. Plzzzz.."

She texted me around 8.30am yesterday. As usual, that was my sleeping time. Never disturbing me until the clock strikes 12noon. Hehe. So, I didn't respond her at all.


Around 7.00pm yesterday. ABAH just got back from golfing. He received a call from ADIK. Abah said,
"Nak pergi Penang dengan saper? Tido maner? Naik aper pergi? Eh...Abah taktau dik. Adik tanye lar die sendiri."

A few minutes later, house's phone rang.

MAK: Hello. Kenapa dik? Ntah lar..Adik dah tanye kat die ker? Die takde pulak cakap aper2 kat mak. Adik call jer lar die. Die ader dalam bilik main g
ames."

Just a seconds after MAK hung up.
My handphone rang. T-shirt ringtone. Hehe. ADIK's name was appeared on the screen.

ME: Hello.


ADIK: Jie. Nak pinjam BEN kejap. 2 hari jer. Boleh lar. Plzzz...


ME: Ahhh..Kalo kau pakai BEN, aku nak pakai aper?


ADIK: Alaaa...boleh lar. Aku taktau AA (my big bro) pinjam kete aku. Boleh lar. Aku takde transport nie nak pegi nie. Plzz..Boleh lar. Kejap jer pon.


ME: Boleh, tapi ader 1 syarat. Hehehe..(I gigled)


ADIK: Syarat aper pulak kau nie. Hhhiisshh...Aper?


ME: Aku nak ikut!! Bagi aku yg drive sebab aku tak percaya kau nak drive jauh2 tue.


ADIK: Maner boleh!! Kau bukan ngam pon ng kawan2 aku. Bukan aku yg drive. Wan Korea yang drive nanti. Boleh lar..


ME: Aku bgtau Kaduk!! Kau curang!! Hehe..Aku nak ikut jugak!!


ADIK: Alaaaa...Ramai lar pegi. Iskh die nie!! Kedekut betol!! Cepat lar!! Kredit aku nak abis nie..


ME: Lantak lar!! Tak boleh!!


ADIK: Alaaaa...plzzzz...Aku nak pinjam kejap jer. Boleh lar. Kau da biase sgt pegi Penang. Kau takyah lar ikut. Boleh lar. Esok aku nak balik umah amek BEN. Boleh lar..


ME: Yer lar!!

Around 6.00pm today, ADIK arrived home together with MON (Her girlfriend). To take my BEN away for 3days.


ME: Japgi jangan lupa singgah kedai sparepart kat Bidor tue. Tukar minyak hitam. Tukar bulp lampu depan. Lampu rendah and lampu tinggi. Paham??


ADIK: Banyaknya!!! Yer lar..Iskh..Abis duit aku.

ME: Bukan duit kau pon!!

Hehe..We both always keep quarrel for small tiny thingy. Just for fun.
While I read my P/S I love You at the living room, ADIK shouted from my room.

ADIK: Jie!!! Maner baju purple kau tue? Aku takde baju nak g rumah org kawen nnt.


ME: Semua barang aku kau nak pinjam??


ADIK: Ala. Boleh lar Kak Azie... Baju kau semua cantek2. Aku takde baju kurung cantek.


ME: Ader dalam almari baju kurung aku lar. Baju yang maner 1 kau nak "Hantu gigi"? (I always addressed her as Hantu Gigi due to her biggy teeth. Hehe)

ADIK: Yang jarang tue. Yang dengan kain songket tue.


ME: Semua ader dalam almari.


ADIK: Heee..Dah jumpa. Nak pinjam 2 pasang. Yang songket purple dengan songket pink tau. Aku taktau nak pakai maner satu lagi.

I was like..hmmm..nasib baik ader sorang jer adik perempuan...

Then after a few advices from MAK and ABAH, ADIK with MON left with my BEN.


Now, I feel really missed my BEN. She must be missing me too. Can't wait this coming Sunday to see her again. Please arrive home safely BEN.





P/S: Like I cannot live without her. Haha.

P/P/S: Patah kaki I!!!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Attention to Dya and Dzul Nyet!!



I just came across Dya's blog. She update her blog with current post related to a love matter. It was about a girl named Katie who suffered from terminal cancer. Also her dear fiance, Nick, who always be by her side and never stop giving her full supports until Katie's last breath, which was happened on the 5th days she officially became Nick's. It was such true endless love story. The story was really touch my heart.

Having heard that Dya actually not in a good mood these few days. My dear, I know you are now in a situation where you really need to gather all your strength to face the true facts. Never mine dear, I just want to noted you that I will always here if in any case you might a good listener. Or maybe you need a shoulder to cry on. I will always be here, dear.


Now, I would like to talk about the main point for me to write this. Actually I want to dedicate this entry to two of my good old days friends. Dya and Dzul Nyet.


Actually, this love story had been in my storage for an ages. I don't really remember where did I found this. Might be from an email. It was about a love story between two best friends, Daniel and Jasmine.


Here is their love story.


Daniel and Jasmine are sitting alone in the park one night.


Daniel: I guess we are the left overs in this world.


Jasmine: I think so. All my friends have boyfriends and we are only the two persons left in this world without any special person in our life.


Daniel: Yes, I just don't know what to do.


Jasmine: I know!! We'll play a game.


Daniel: What game?

Jasmine: I'll be your girlfriend for 30 days and you'll be my boyfriend.

Daniel: That's a great plan. In fact I don't have nothing to do much these following weeks.


DAY 1:

They watched their first movie and they both touched in a romantic film.


DAY 4:

They went to the beach and have a picnic. Daniel and Jasmine have their quality time together.


DAY 12:

Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they ride on a Horror House. Jasmine was scared and she touched Daniel's hand but actually she was touched someone else's hand. They both laughed.


DAY 15:

They saw a fortune teller down the road and they asked for their future advice and the fortune teller said, "My darling, please don't waste the time of your life. Spend the rest of your time together happily." Then tears flow out the teller's eyes.


DAY 20:

Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor. Jasmine mumbled something.


DAY 28:
They sat on the bus and because of a bumpy road, Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident.

DAY 29:


11.37pm -

Jasmine and Daniel sat in the park where they first decided to play this game.


Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine. Do you want any drinks? I'll go and buy you one. I'll just go down the road.


Jasmine: Apple juice. That's all.


Daniel: Wait for me.


20 minutes later -

A stranger approached Jasmine.


Stranger: Are you a friend of Daniel?

Jasmine: Why? Yes. What happened?


Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel and he is critical in the hospital now.


11.57pm -

The doctor went out of the emergency room and he handed out an apple juice along with a letter to Jasmine.


Doctor: We found this letter in Daniel's pocket.


Jasmine read the letter and it says:

"Jasmine, this past few days, I realized that you are a really cute girl and I am really falling love for you. Your cherish smile, your everything when we played this game. Before this game would end, I would like you to be my real girlfriend for the rest of my life. I love you, Jasmine."


Jasmine crumpled the letter and shouted:

"Daniel!! I don't want you to die. I love you. Remember that night when we saw a meteor? I was mumbled something. I wish that we would be together forever and never end this game. Please don't leave me, Daniel. I love you! You cannot do this to me!!"


Then the clock strikes 12.


Daniel's heart stop pumping.


THEN IT WAS THE 30TH DAY.


Here some of my conclusions throughout reading this love story.

TO DYA.

Dear, just hang in there. Don't ever give a s**t to what was happened to you. Just accept the real facts. Somehow it may be brings a good fortune for you. Maybe someone around you is always loves you, silently. Someone that you don't even expect that he might be the one that was created by the Divine to be with you. To be your better half. Maybe it is good for you to just sit back and relax and never hoping for someone to come. Let the love comes to you. Never chasing it.


TO DZUL NYET.
Nyet, please don't hide your feelings. Give it a shot. Then she will know you are a grown man. Just be gentleman. Don't hold your feelings back to your own self. Show her how much you are dying to have her back. Show her the love, before it is too late. After all, Dya and me know best that you are still in loved with her. Be brave Nyet. Never wait until tomorrow. Who might knows that actually she has the same feelings towards you.

TO ALL OF YOU out there.

Always love your loved one. Show them how you feel for them, before it is to late. You will never know when they will gone from your embrace. Say that you loves them. Today is the day. Never wait until tomorrow. Love them while they are still here.
And bear in mind, if nobody in the world to love you, then I will always be the one who will generously give my love.

Not forget TO LOVE.
I love you Sayang. It grew bigger and bigger each day. You better know that.


As FOR ME.
Love is such the greatest thing given by the Divine. Thankful that I ever have a chance to feel it. Alhamdullilah.



P/S: I love you.

Makan dalam NYIRU..


I am not feeling well for these few days. Today, I feel better or maybe good is the right word. And the most important is my appetite is back!!

I asked MAK to go out for dinner. In my mind was a "laksa" Kg.Petaling, Bidor. Unfortunately the stall close today. Adoyai!! Frust!!


My second choice for dinner was "Nasi Lemak Kukus" near by basketball court somewhere in Bidor. Tutup jugak!! Adoyai!!


MAK suggested a restaurant called "Nasi Ayam Herbal". Actually, I had tried the "bihun sup", and it was a delicious one.


So, MAK and I went to the restaurant. And these were our choices.



"Nasi Lemak Biasa" for MAK.


"Nasi Timbal with Ayam Goreng" for me.


What makes this restaurant special is their alternative of using "Nyiru" instead of plate. I think I should do that at home. Good for a lazy bum like me. No need to wash the dishes after all. Haha.


What I can say about my meal? It is a must-try food. Delicious.


As for now. PEROT SAYA RASA SANGAT KETAT!!


P/S: "Nyiru" also be recognized as "Tampi". Normally it was made from rattan. Being used in winnowing.


P/S/S: Nyet sudah pulang!! Tidur guna kelambu Nyet!! Kau tue friendly sgt dgn nyamuk Malaria..hehe


P/S/S: Credit to Dya for teaching me how to use watermark. Thanks dear. Love you!

Monday, June 15, 2009

Tag from Eda.


1. Who tag you?
Eda, mama Aina Dora.

2. Do you like tags?
Yes, I guess. To fulfill my free time. Also to keep updated when actually I have nothing in my mind to write in the blog.

3. If you can have a dream to come true,what would it be?
To become the most happiest person in the world. Also to be the best daughter to my MAK and ABAH.

4. What is your current mood?
Bored. Cannot sleep.

5. What will u do if your crush said he/she adores u to?
Excited!! I'll give him a big hug and a warmth kiss.

6. Will you fall in love with your bestfriend?
Nope!! Eventhough sometimes people said that bestfriend will be the best partner for you.

7. Which will you prefer,loving someone or being loved by someone?
Both of course!!! Adoyai!!

8. What is your favourite food?
Tomyam? Sluurrrpp...

9. If the person you dislike is right in front of you,what will you do?
I will just ignore him/her. Gonna vomit on his/her face.

10. What do you pray each day for your loved ones?
Happiness, great health etc.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?.
10 years in the future? I'll be 33. Wow!! Quite a number. That time I wish I already have my own family. Live my life well with my hubby and the kids.

12. What is the reason that could make you tensed up?
Love and life matters. Sometime study could be the reason too.

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tag u is?
Simple, gile2, happy go lucky, outspoken, etc. Maybe, I guess. Because we are haven't meet in real life. Just through internet.

14. Would you rather be a single and rich or married but poor?
Single? Crazy!!, Rich? Yes!!, Married? I want!!, Poor? I hope not!!

15. Would you sacrifice for your loved ones?
Of course I will. The reasonable one please.

16. What's the character must have in your partner?
Caring, love me more than I do, kind-hearted.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously,who would you like to pick?
Iskh!! Don't have answer for this.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that someone has done?forget?
I can forgive. I'll try my best to forget. The scar will still be there somehow, rite?

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
Both. But in different situations.

20. What is your embarrassing moment?
It were moments actually. I won't mention those in here.

21. Who are the 5 person that you would like to tag?
Dya
Dzul Nyet
Angah
Teha
Jia

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Coins


These 2 weeks just made me tired. Really tired I guess. Exhausted? Yes, that's the word.

I had not enough rest. I slept less than 5 hours per day. My body seems can't take it anymore. As a result, now I had a fever. Very bad one. I can't really get up from bed. Just lying down. I think back massage will be the best idea. My back is so aching.


Opps!! I didn't come to the main point of writing this post. Okay.


I just don't have a job to do in the room. I took all my coins in the red box. Counting all of it. Actually my main purpose is to search for coins which had been produced in year 1983 (LOVE's birth year) and 1986 (my birth year).

I keep all my coins in this red box.



I have RM100++ of coins. And guess what? I don't get any coin of 1986!! For 1983, I only got 2 pieces of 10cent coins. I told LOVE about that. And guess what LOVE replied? He didn't find the 1986's too. Adoyai!!

I'm confusing rite now. No coins never been produced in 1986?? Hmmm...


blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Dear..



I really enjoy reading it.
Paulo Coelho is such a great author in the world.
Thanks a lot The Alchemist.

blogger-emoticon.blogspot.com

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Poor Nyet..


Nothing much to be talk.

I woke up a bit early compared to the other days before. With the main purpose to go to visit a friend, Dzul Nyet. He was admitted to Hospital Slim River. Due to his worst fever since last Sunday.


The moment I entered the Ward 5, I looked at the name list of the patient in front of the Ward 5. There was one M. Dzulhelmi Bin M. Khadri, if I'm not mistaken. I got confused. Nyet's father is M.Sukri. Is he the same Dzulhelmi or just another person with the same name as Nyet.

Never mind, I just walked through the partition's of the ward. Then I saw Nyet lying down very weak on the bed. Poor him. I can even noticed the difference on the body figure. I just think that Nyet looked a bit slim as compared to the other day, when we went out on Sasha's birthday.

He is camera shy. Haha.

On the chair next to the bed was Nyet's mom. Nyet is suspected dengue. Poor him. His mom said, Nyet couldn't even eat the lunch meal. Nyet just having some fruits. He said he feels "loya". He cannot take any foods after all. He will surely vomitting all of it some more. He said that he already lost 10kgs for only 5 days. Somehow I think that would be a good alternative to lose my overweight. Haha. No! No! Please. Just kidding. "Simpang malaikat 44".

After an hour "borak" with Nyet, then came up a friend of him, Faiz. Which is also my good friend's beloved.Haha.


As being a good friend, |I had took several photos of Faiz for my good friend. I just candid all those without permission from Faiz of course. Baik kan I? Just for you, sayang. She did thanked me for all the photos. And of course she is very happy to have the current photos of Faiz.

At the back is Faiz. My good friend's beloved one.

I think that's enough for Nyet's update. Get well very soon Nyet!!!

P/S: I bought a chocolate moist cake and some fruits for Nyet. I hope Nyet like those.

An unintended post..



Good day all. I am actually have zero idea in my mind right now. I just have nothing to be talk and share today. I had been in a hectic weeks. I slept only for three to five hours a day. I am totally exhausted. But still I cannot fall asleep. Just yet.

I am figuring out, what am I gonna do? It is a hell bored staying alone at late night.
I just have nothing to do. All I can do is blogging. Surfing for some interesting websites. Watching television? Not interested anymore. Astro just repeat the same programs. I am just too sick of it.

Now, I think I wanna talk about the intended purpose of blogs.

I don't remember when did I start to think that I should have one blog of mine which will be totally manage by me. A very long time ago, I already created one blog. Just for the start. But, that time I have no idea at all of what should I write on my blog.
Then, on February 14th this year, I created this blog which turned to be my official blog.

At the beginning stage of blogging, I have no follower at all. But, Dya, my ex-schoolmate, gave me an endless supports to blog. She never forget to keep commenting each of my entry post. I have to admit that she really did inspired me in blogging. Thanks a lot Sayang!!


The main purpose for me in blogging is to improve my English writing skills. I realized that I am very weak in English. In fact I made a lot of grammatical errors in all my previous entries. But I just keep bear in mind, no one will ever judge me on my writing. Well, this is my own blog after all. Freak! This is not an English class.


At first, I just wrote about myself. What did I do everyday? What was happened to me that particular day? I can say that at first blogging for me was just like writing a journal or diary that I made it to be available to the public. It was just the stories of one side of me that I have decided to share with anyone who might be interested to read it.


Sometimes I feel that I blog because to voice my heart out. Which actually I have no one to share what I feel with. I have guts feeling that someone out there would be listening somehow. Sometimes, I just cannot talk to anyone about my feelings for some good reason. So, I just hold it back. But, thankful to the Divine, after I started my blog, I feel much more relief knowing that I have one better medium for me to voice out my feelings. Happiness, sadness, stress, depression or any other feelings.


Recently, I wrote a few entries which actually do not directly implied myself or people surrounded. Okay. Fine. Yes, maybe it is about 30% of it reflects what was actually happened to me. But the other 70%, it is just what I've been thinking of. For that, I've got quite some responses from my readers. They kept asking me if I am in deep critical problem and they even offering me some advices. I do really appreciate those responses.


Yes people, I was in very deep down stress these few weeks. But as I went throughout all that,I just want to throw some opinion of mine. I mean I do interested in talking about love and life. As for this reason, I think I would like to start writing about those two topics. And if I am lucky enough, maybe I can get more responses from all the readers. Then only I will feel that I am blessed enough.


OMG!! I am talking crap. Arghh!! Azie!! Tido!!


P/S: Dya, tomorrow I'll go to visit Nyet. Don't worry. Any update I will definitely texting you. Love you!


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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

He knows the best way to persuade me..


Having said that our relationship seems didn't goes very well recently. A lot of fights. A lot of tears.

He tried his best to come down here and meet me. With the main purpose to solve all the problems between both of us.


He did called me around 11am and begging me to go out with him. Well, I agree. I bear in mind, sometimes we need to confront the reality. Confront the problems. No need to be hide. Phone calls and messages sometimes cannot be the best medium. Face to face will always be the best one, I think.


After dressing up, I went out. Met him.


To be frank, the first half an hour I just kept silent and didn't even looked at his face. I just stood there like a stone. Until, he went into tears seeing me that way. He said I am not in love with him anymore. That's what makes him more frightened.

After a long paused, he brought up something from his bag. Tadaaa... Sorry, I am wearing the necklace right now. Just the picture of the box.



He said, he did planned to give it to me on my birthday. But something came up and he can't make it on that day. I just accept. Of course with a big smiles on my face. Haha.

Then we went to Kinta City Jaya Jusco. Having a lunch at Johnny's.



Then, another surprise came up. He straight away entered Guess outlet, picked a handbag and paid at cashier. I just don't have any idea about that. But, as what elders said, "rezeki jangan ditolak dan musuh jangan dicari". It's been a while since I bought my last handbag. So, this is just nice. Well, here it is. Opps, I did it again. Forgot to take picture of the handbag. Sorry.


Now, what more can I say about the meeting? He already knows the very best way to persuading me. Whenever I get sulk, we fight, then at last he buy something for me. Mak said, "Selalu lar merajuk, nanti dapat barang baru lagi".

Yes, I have to admit this. Shopping is always be the best therapy for my stress and deppressions.


P/S: Sleepy head in here. Sorry a lot for the school's girl writing again. I am just too tired.


P/S/S: I just realized that I wear the same shirt like the one I already wore at Sasha's birthday. Sorry. Silly me.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Love, fate and destiny.



Just having heart to heart talks with my best friend. Now, I just cannot get to sleep. Keep thinking. What is actually the meaning of love fate destiny?

I mean like, yes now I am in the middle of love. But still I have no clue if this is my love destiny or not. Skeptical thinking rite?

I did some Googled just now. And this what I found through my chroming.


LOVE: That tumbling, mysterious force that hits you in the face and leaves you in a dark pit of confusion. That feeling that leaves you dazed and light-headed. That feeling that makes you feel everything is right in the world. That feeling that comes with those three little over used words: I LOVE YOU

FATE: You can't run from it. You can't hide from it. What you do, whoever you meet, that's fate. It's a cruel and stern master; deciding everything without your consent. That first chance meeting between two lovers, that’s fate. That shock you find within after you find out you're working together, that’s fate too.


DESTINY: You have to grab it. You can't wait for it to come to you. You decide for yourself what destiny you have. Once you have it, you have to pursue it. You can't stay in one place, waiting for the expected changes to kick in. You have to run after it, fight for it with every inch of your being.


As I go through a love in the real life, I should admit that I have my own opinion towards the meaning of all these bounding words.


LOVE
for me sometimes can be good and sometimes can be bad though.
When love is in the air, you can feel like fondling. You will feel like the entire world is yours. You will feel like everything turn to be very colorful. All the beautiful lovely flowers seems smiling at you. The wind seems very friendly to touch your skin and blow your hair. You will even feel like living in heaven. Unfortunately, when there is no more love is around, you will feel like the entire world is laughing at you. Looking down at you. You will feel like dying. You will feel the sorrowfulness. You might even think that it is the end of the world.

As for FATE. It is truly something that we couldn't afford to avoid. It decide everything for you. No mercy. Sometimes you might feel like there is no sympathy in fate. You have to accept whatever it is, even though you are not really welcome it.
For some lucky times, you will find that fate is actually coming to be friend with you. To bring a little bit of happiness to your life. In order to spice up your life. But we have to always make ourselves to believe that any fate that being given by God, is actually bring along the good purpose behind it. Fate will never harm us.

Last but not least, DESTINY. I can say that it is actually predetermined by God. It is a predetermined course of events.
You may choose your own destiny by choosing different paths of your life. You can make it as your best destiny, or even at the contra side. When you choose to follow whatever your destiny will be, everything will also tend to go right in your life. There are some events that are to happen and not to be changeable.

Some people might says, love destiny bring means that two hearts will be drawn and brought together in a love that will never end. Whatever is coming in between, these two hearts will definitely be together forever. These two hearts will never can be separated from each other. If it is ever happen to them, some miracle will always bring them back together again. To live together. To live their life together. Seems that there is a strong binds that already bound them.


And now, to be frank, these three strong bounded words keep hitting me with so many questions.


I have read this quote somewhere, back to a couple years ago.


"True love will never have a happy ending. Because true love will never ends."


Is it true? If it does, then why true love is exist in this world? If it cannot bring us to a happy ending?


After all, we have to admit this. Even though we are loved to be in love, somehow we have to accept the pains that comes along with it.

We are actually taking a risk whenever we open our hearts to allow love to enter it. Because the truth is, if we ever open it for love, we are also expose it to full of pain. We can never be able to open our heart for love and at the same time do not experience some hurt.

TRUE LOVE IS SUICIDE!!

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Sunday, June 7, 2009

...


I feel like dying.
And it is for sure the only way I will feel even better.
God, help me.
I am so dying.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Tag from Shiela.


I was tagged by Shiela, my new blogging friend.
Actually I am very tired rite now.
But still cannot sleep because it's already Maghrib.

While waiting for "senja" to over, I think I can manage to complete this tag.

So, here we go.


hi5


1) "5" nama timangan anda
  • Azie - The most common nick name for me.
  • Azua - Normally being used by my school's teachers and lecturer's.
  • Ajie - My younger sister started to called me Ajie instead of Azie when she was a kid. She just replace the "z" with "j".
  • Aunty - Addressed by all my nephews and nieces. Now, everyone in the family addressed me as Aunty.
  • Bb - For LOVE only.
2) "5" sifat or tabiat buruk
  • Nails bitting - My very bad habit since I was a kid. Now, I can control it. A bit I guess. But, I'll start again if I am in deeply thinking situations. Especially to make very crucial decisions.
  • Laugh like "pontianak" - I just cannot control this bad habit. Seriously I am not that decent girl type. Haha.
  • Sleep too late at night - In fact every nights. Eye bags? Don't mention it.
  • "Gesel2" my foots before I get to sleep - Is it a bad habit? Maybe. Yes, all my girlfriends who been sleep with me might think that I am a "lesbo". No no! I am totally straight.
  • Gossiping - I loike!!
3) "5" makanan favourite
  • Bihun Tomyam Extra Spicy - From Restoran Charen, somewhere in Changlun.
  • Fish - I prefer fish rather than chicken. Nope! It is not about diet. I am just too sick of eating chicken. Muak!
  • Laksa - Must be original asam laksa. Laksa Johor? Laksa Sarawak? No such thing please.
  • Rendang Ayam - Now, chicken is accepted. But, must be made by MAK.
  • Black Pepper Lamb - Arghhh!!! Delicious!
4) "5" subjek pelajaran paling suka
  • Accounts - Of course. I am Accounting student rite? Forget it?
  • Mathematics - The most interesting subjects to be learn.
  • Chemistry - I love those scientific's names of the molekuls etc.
  • Audit - I'm Loving it! Influenced by Mr Syahrir I guess.
  • English - I have to like it in order to improve my English level.
5) "5" lima benda wajib dlm purse
  • Mykad - To prove that I am Malaysia resident.
  • Driving License - Important..Important..
  • Cash money - No money no talk.
  • ATM cards - Very2 important. I don't have credit cards okay?
  • Shopping cards - Very3 important. Needed especially there is a "SALE" word.
6) "5" topik yg biasa dibual bersama pasangan or teman
  • Love and relationship - Happiness and sadness.
  • Sex - Opppsss!!! It's knowledge.
  • Gossiping - Especially about "artis".
  • Old time memories - I miss them all.
  • Mengumpat?? Yes!! I am very good in that. Haha.
7) "5" mangsa tag

Another anniversary.


June 6th.
Today is our 11th anniversary??

Woww!!


Yes people, I know. It is quite a number.
But, it's true tho.
But still have "on-off" sessions in between that 11 years.
As people always said,

"Sedangkan lidah lagi tergigit"

(Saper suruh gigit lidah?)


I don't really have any idea what I'm gonna talk here regarding my anniversary.
Because...Hmmm...

Nothing to talk. I am totally blank.


So, I really think I want to stop here.
My headache is killing me rite now.
I should sleep.
I will continue with another entry about my 11th anniversary later.
Only if there is something really special happens.


Tomorrow is a big day for Abg. Man, my cousin.

He'll become someone's husband.

I have wake up very early in the morning.


Till then, bye.


P/S: Someone said I should put this picture in my blog. So, here I am. The very latest of me. Taken before going to Abg. Man's nikah.


Friday, June 5, 2009

Sasha's 22nd birthday celebration.


Yesterday was Sasha's birthday.
June 4th.
Dzul Nyet kept asking me out for a cup of coffee,
since we were never meet up for almost 8 years.

He asked me, if I can help him to make something surprise for Sasha's birthday.
How sweet rite?

Owh forgot to mention here.
Nyet and Sasha were once a lovely couple,
back to SMKGR's years.

So, as been planned by Nyet and me, we both met up at KFC, Bidor.
Then we both went to buy a cake.
Asked "Kaduk" favor to keep the ice cream cake,
while we went to fetch Sasha at her house.

Then after kidnapped Sasha,
three of us straight away go to Dunkin Donut, RnR Tapah Selatan.



Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to you...
Happy Birthday to Sasha...
Happy Birthday to you...



Our foods.
We were having croissants with chicken ham (i guess),
6 pieces of multi flavors donuts,
iced latte for me and Dzul Nyet,
and 100plus for Sha the birthday girl.
All sponsored by "Kaduk", a boyfie for my younger sister.
Thank you Kaduk!!

But, not forget the ice cream cake sponsored by Dzul Nyet.
The cake was made from Kedai Kek Pertama, Bidor.
(Tu jer yg ader kat Bidor nie haaa...
Secret Recipe takde pulak plan nak buat outlet kat sini)



Si Nyet seriously cannot wait any seconds more.
He kept staring at the foods.

"Makan itu indah"
That is his favorite slogan.



Sasha with her "jambul".
Seriously, she just looked like the same Sasha back to SMKGR's time.
She will always keep trying to maintain the "tudung",
so that her "jambul" will never come out.



With Nyet.
Nyet said,
"Seriously, rupa hang lain giler drpd mase sekolah dulu".
Haha. I don't have idea where is the different.
Owh yes,
one thing for sure.
My body weight.
Waaaayyyy more fatter than the old Azie's.

P/S: Sorry for the "school girl" style of writing.
I am just too sleepy rite now.
I need to zzzzz...
Nite all.

P/S/S: Real name for Kaduk is Firdaus. Haha.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Loneliness


I just feel lonely. Really lonely.
I am all alone by myself right now.

Even though everyone is around.
Making jokes that never gonna stop.
Laughter is everywhere.
Love is in the air.

But sometimes I can feel there is a huge hole in my heart.
I can feel that I was thrown far away from this whole world.
I can feel the loneliness lingers in my heart.

Sometimes I keep thinking again and again.
Am I being appreciated?
Am I being needed?
Am I being loved?

I really wish that I could disappear into the thin air.
And then wait and see if I am being missed.
Am I?
Is there anyone who will missed me?
By any way?

I guess the answer is no.
Never.
So...Hmmm..


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Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Is it true that this situation exist in this world?


I am so bored. Doing nothing at home.

It is 3.09am. I am still awake. Cannot close my eyes. Just having a girl's talk with El, my girlfriend.

What else can I do? In the middle of a night. Or maybe I can say, in the very early morning. Haha.

I came across this entry, while I blogging through a few blogs. I don't have any idea who is the owner. But still I am attracted to read her entry.

In her entry, she pointed out about this question.

"Have you ever meet your soul mate after you already met someone?"



Frankly says, I am seriously never ever heard about this before. In real world. Yes, I did read through all the stories. But all of that were from a couple novels. Nothing to do with the real world. So, before this I just think that it all from fantasy. From imaginations.

Here I put the full entry from her blog.

You already met someone.Stung by love.He's all you're looking for.He takes care of you,adore you,accepting you as who you are,shared everything together and you even told your self-damn he's the ONE.And the step towards the great happy ending is not even something you'd call 'looking forward to it' anymore but its already there.Right in front of your eyes.

And suddenly there is HE is.
Another person jump into the picture and create another electricity sparks.At first you just think gosh he's hot;
"Oh I like that too~~!";
"Hey,thanks for being such a great listener";

...then after some conversations,companies and sharing thoughts;you began to wonder;you two had so much things in common-where have u been all this while?Why don't you come earlier?Hmm.....

From the fancy;you began to adore.

From calling each other buddy;he began to call you honey.

From a "just to say hi" text messages;it went to "missing you".

From saving his number as the member of 'BFF' group in your cellphone; he's now on your top list of speed dial.

From sharing hobbies and interests you guys now talking thru some love song lyrics.

There's also a vow like "If by 40years old we're both single;lets get married"
And from the sayings of "I'll definitely take leave to attend your wedding" suddenly he said "Why you dunt see me 1st?,why u have to have him?"

And that's where u got stucked.
One is surely love you unconditionally and without doubts will be a great father to your kids;
The other one is the type that you would kill to marry.Or even date.

Which way would you go?

For real babe. I don't think that there is a person who is getting stuck in between this kind of situation. If there is one, I am figuring out of how he/she gonna cope with this situation? Seriously, it is a damn situation. Where you have to kick your ass and make one best decision.

And the most important, the whatever decision he/she is going to make, must always be with the purpose to makes everyone happy. It is impossible rite? Because it is for sure that one heart will be hurt.

If you decide to choose to be with A, then B will get hurt.
If you decide to choose B as your life partner, definitely A will get hurt.
Or else you choose to leave both A and B. And you become the one who will getting hurt.

I couldn't think any further, because I've never been in that kind of situation. And of course I don't want to experience it. For real babe. Crazy!!!

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