Zipping mouth.

I'm feeling miserable. Like having butterflies in my stomach. My heart is like to burst out. I feel like crying. I feel like punching people's face. I feel like screaming to everyone if it is the only way for me to release this pain.

Blog is always a place for me to let go those feelings which I can never speak it out by my own mouth. I don't know where should I share my feelings. I won't disturb LOVE because I know he is also in the midst of extreme stress due to the job. I won't talk to my family because there might seen this thing as a normal ordinary thingy. Or maybe it is. Maybe I'm the one who complicate it.

In appearance, this is really not my problem. At all. But it will give subsequent effect to the person I loved the most. I hate that to be happened one day. This is me. I cannot just sit and see all bad things happened. I will always interfere as I thing that I have responsibility to talk, or maybe to advice as far as I can. I'm doing all of this with no reason. For me, everything I do must always be with reason and knowledge. With only that I can see the way of life clearly.

This is never be a problem for me if I am dealing with the person below my level or maybe same age with me. But, a problem arise when I am dealing with the person whose in the upper level than myself. I have to talk in good manner.

I won't be seen as a rude person. I want people to see me as a helper. I try to help. Helping is actually comes in various ways. By talking, listening, advising, anything can be. I face with one situation where me, myself as a normal person see this as a problem. If it is not a problem now, I believe this thing will create a problem one day in the future.

This situation involves a person who actually very close to my life. And that's why I couldn't talk to anyone. It is like spitting to the air where actually it will fall on my own face. So, I decide to keep it with me.

Having said that, I try to personally talk to this person. Within our conversation I swear to God that I didn't even use any harm words. I talked and advised in a good manner. I keep all my anger inside. I just let go all nicest words during the conversation. With the hope that I can try to solve the problem before it turn to be a big problem.

I know this person felt touch at heart before it is me to talk. Who am I to talk like that? Where is my level? I have no rights to talk. Maybe, these were the questions that appeared in this person's mind. Maybe. Who might knows?

Our conversation ended with no solutions. This person seem cannot take all my words. At last, I am the one who felt guilty. I felt like violation of level of life. So, I took it as my fault for not knowing my appropriate level. I apologized to this person. Yes, I did. I cross my fingers.

But today, I received a text messages. That person, the one whose I talked to before, was upset and said I was only pointing my fingers without knowing the truth story. That person said I am like crossing the line. I have no rights of talking what I have said before.

And because of this stupid person, I feel miserable now. Why am I the one who is guilty in this case? When actually this case or situation doesn't really implied myself.

I talk to myself. I will take it as my fault of over the limit by talking like that to the person who is in the upper level than me. Yes. I'll take it. But, I promise myself after this if anything ever happen to that person, I will only watch it from far. I will never step in that person's problem ever. Never. That is my promise.

p.s. Buat baik salah. Buat jahat lagi lar salah. It's okay. I'm zipping my mouth now.

Mango's Game

Mangosteen is one of my favourite blog. I am the silent reader of this blog. I love arts even though I'm not that creative person.

I just notice that Mangosteen contest this morning as I do some blogwalking. All we have to do is to name any object under the sky that we wish to see in the form of stamp. Just anything. Easy rite?

For the winning prizes, Mangosteen is giving a set of 9 mini handcarved eraser stamps and also the personalized stamp (the one that we wish to see as I mentioned above).

I want to enter this contest.

As my family and close friends know, I love Hello Kitty so much. So, sis Mangosteen I wish to see Hello Kitty stamp. I put two sample photos below:

Name: Hello Kitty with Cupcake
Rationale: I just learned baking..!! And I love it..!!

Name: Hello Kitty with stationery
Rationale: I'm in the mood of final exam. So, that's it!

Opps!! Actually sis Mangosteen tak suruh pon letak picture and reason. Tapi I degil, I nak letak jugak. Senang sis Mangosteen nak visualize kan. Baik kan I. hehe...

That's all. I hope I will win!!

Love you sis Mangosteen!!!

p.s. Ada nada-nada membodek di situ. Haha!!
p.p.s. Eh! I nie memang tak mengikut peraturan kan. Sis Mangosteen kate letak satu jer daripada 3 gambar kat atas tue. But I letak jer semua. Sorry sis! I excited! LOL.

Late Nite Post.

Hye all. Selamat Hari Raya. LOL.

I just woke up. It is 12.10 a.m. Believe it or not. Actually I slept at 8.00 p.m. due to migraine. I took a painkiller pills then zzzz.

LOVE called then I answered the phone, have a little chat, laugh a bit and that's it. Terus segar bugar mata I nie. I memang cenggini. I can hear the phone ringing even in my sleep. That's why if I wish to have a good night sleep, I will put my phone into silent mode and leave it on the floor so that I can't hear the vibration sound if I put it on the table. Yes all. I can also hear the vibrating sound. Weirdo.

Okay, what else I wanna tell in here? Hmmm..

Yes. I started my diet plan again. For the how many times I don't know. Seems like I have to dieting forever but I can't manage to get back my old body figure. Sometimes I loose some kg's, then I start eating like hell again, then I put only double-up the loosen kg's. Haha.

As I started it this week, after I got back from hometown for the medical check-up thingy, I can proudly say that I have lose 1kg in less than a week. What did I ate? No special secret. I ate vegetables and some lauk for lunch. And for dinner meal, sometimes I took biscuit with tea or milo. But if I felt hungry during late night I took apple. So, that's the result.

Cakap bagus konon. Cess. I pray I can maintain this style of eating. Hopefully. Selalu I nie hangat-hangat taik kamben jer. Menci.

Okay, continue study. What? My study-for-final-exam progress? I managed to finished 4 chapters of Basic Entrepreneurship paper, yesterday. Today? No progress as I read through some articles for my Accounting Theories and Practices paper, but I can say that I only understand maybe 20% of it. Silly me. Susah laaa. Try lar baca tengok senang paham tak.

That's all for today. Bye all.

p.s. I rasa rindu Kak Farah sangat hari ni. :(
p.p.s. Another unrelated-to-the-entry-topic photo. Photo of my one of my Hello Kitty collection. I will update all of it gradually. This time is apa nama ntah. Usually people put it on the car dashboard. It will move when it receive the solar energy. Betol kot. I pon tak pasti. Weee.

Sindrom Demam Malam.

This is the 3rd day I demam. Iskh.

During daylight my body temperature okay jer, behave jer. When maghrib comes then night, my body temperature start to rapidly increase.

Kenapa? Sindrom Demam Malam!!!

I nak cakap tu jer pon. Haha!! Takde keje kan? Saja jer nak update. Rajin tiba-tiba. Bluek!

p.s. Tak suka demam selsema batuk. Hidung sumbat. Tekak Sakit.
p.p.s. As usual, unrelated-to-the-main-topic photo. LOL. Rindu si comel nie. (photo taken when I took her to saloon, we past by the Pasaraya Kawan (Anis Safinas suka tempat nie..hehe) and this cute lil Shasha insisted to naik that thingy.)

Tulis entri sambil kembangkan hidung. LOL.

Hye all..
I woke up early in the morning. MAK called asking me about my fever condition. I said I'm getting okay. Last night my body temperature was really high I think, like holding hot boiled kettle. Bluffing!!! Hahaha..

Eh..serious laaa..my body temperature is okay now. I think the fever gets worse only during night time. Day time relax jer babe. Siap boleh makan kuaci lagi. Hehe.

Okay, after MAK called I couldn't manage to continue my sleep again. I can't just lay down on my bed and layankan the fever right. So, I made up my mind to get up and belek2 buku. OMG! I just have 2 more weeks to go to final exam. Adoyai! 1 habuk pon I tak prepare lagi. I got up, then terus duduk kat study table. Yes!! Dapat mood terus.

Okay! I started with study for Basic Entrepreneurship paper which the final exam for this paper will be held on November 4th. On the day before which is November 3rd, I'll sit for Issues in Management Accounting paper. So, basically I will put extra attention on accounting paper, I know best that I will abandon this teras University paper, so, better I study from now kan. Why not I finish up all my basic teras University papers then only focus on my accounting papers. Adoi. Cam keling da ayat I. Sorry lar yer. LOL.

Pening lar bace! Lantak la. Suka hati I lar nak tulis camner kan.

Okay, moral of the story I nak bagitau yang I telah berjaya menghabiskan 2 chapters untuk paper Basic Entrepreneurship tue tadi. Bangganya saya.....Ehem..Ehem..

Hmm..Busuknya. Nak mandi. Bye all!!

p.s. Doakan saya cepat sembuh. Terima Kasih.
p.p.s. I think I wanna start showing off my Hello Kitty collection. Ada la sikit. For the 1st one is Hello Kitty bowl hugger. You guys can always get this when you buy Kellogs cereal. LOVE bought this for me. Hehe. Comel kan? Masa I makan I rasa cam Hello Kitty tue tengok I jer. Suke.
p.p.p.s. Kenape lari topik? Ala. Suka hati I lar. Iskh. Okay mandi.

100th post

Fuuhh..Fuuhh..Fuuuhhhhh...
Banyaknyer habuk blog I nie. Iskh. Sorry blog, I tak sengaja dah abaikan you.

What am I going to say today? Hmmm.. Still thinking.

Looking at Diya's 100th post entry, I just got jealous. Sila jangan dengki wahai cik zizee. LOL.

Diya was doing one contest namely "The 100th Post Giveaway". Diya was prepared a sweet swirls frame as a gift for the winner. Opps! Forgot to tell, the contest was about creating a banner, doodle or anything which symbolized 100. Damn I didn't manage myself to enter that contest. I was busy ant hometown. Alasan. Grin.

As for my very own 100th post, frankly saying that I didn't prepare anything to celebrate it. Other number of post probably. I am really busy now. Not really busy actually but I pretend as busy jer. Haha. Final exam is just around the corner. As this is going to be my very final semester living in this varsity, I hope that I can give my very best in my study.

Owh? Lappy? Lappy is still in my hand. Last time I went back to hometown but I made up my mind not to leave it behind as I know best that I will definitely missed it very much. Instead of leaving lappy at home, I promise myself to be more discipline in term of using the lappy. For an example I will only use this lappy when I feel "tepu" while studying. Or maybe when I feel lost. Okay. Okay. I try laaa... Only switch on this lappy several hours a day.

Eh. Forgot to mention. I just finished re-arrange half of my room. In here, the hostel. Before this my table was facing the wall where I put all those notes, bills, photos and so on. But now, I change it to face the window. So that I can have a green view scenery when I'm studying. Of course lar, outside the windows is a big tree, I don't know what type of tree but one thing for sure the tree is green. Sedap mata memandang. Big Grin.

Okay all, I'm going to take bath. By the way, I demam nie. Selsema and batuk yg sangat teruk. Hidung asyik gatal jer. Benci la. Tak selesa. Tapi taknak makan ubat, boleh?

Bye all.

p.s. Berat badan naik lagi selepas raya. Sia2 jer diet mase puasa. Menci.

Sending lappy back to hometown?

I'm still thinking getting rid of my lappy. I'm thinking of sending my lappy back to my hometown. Leave it there. Or maybe let LOVE keep it for sometime, just until I finish my final paper on November 20th.

I'm seriously couldn't 100% focus on my study if this lappy still with me. Yes, I know. Before this I already owned this lappy and still I can study. But now, lappy seems to be the main things which really good in diverting my attention. Perhaps on surfing, blogging, YM-ing, facebooking as well as watching movies and Korean dramas.

As this is going to be my very final semester in varsity, I'm thinking if it is better for me put 200% efforts on my studying. Final exam is just around the corner. 3 weeks to go for it. And I realized it is not so much time for me. I really need to kick my ass and study and not doing another job rather than studying.

I wish I can go back to my Matriculation years. Where I don't diverting my attention into another business. Everything in my mind was just study and score well in the exam. And yes, I did succeed during my Matriculation years. My CGPA is in the first class level.

Same goes to my SPM years. I scored well too. No lappy at all. I studied with just listening to my old school walkman. No such thing like MP3 or Ipod. LOL.

As a matter of fact, I think I should go back to whom I used to be. The older Azie. With the warmth spirit. Nothing else but study. C'mon Azie..!! I know I can do it if I really focusing.

p.s. Makin besar makin kurang daya ingatan. Iskh. Iskh.
p.p.s. Apart of that, I will surely gonna missed my blog and my new interest, facebook.

Older vs Newer

The old good days picture. While we were in our secondary school. Taken from Diya's facebook.

People, come. Look at the older me. LOL. Kelakar kan?
This picture also from Diya, if I'm not mistaken. She gave me while we chat on YM.
Below, are photos with the latest me. I manage to find only these 2 photos in my lappy. Taken by Kak Ayu (my sis-in-law), just before Ramadhan. Raya's photos in Adik's lappy, forgot to copy last time. Sorry.
Okay? Can you all see the different? The older me and the latest me? Haha!! From the tiny-petit-skinny type of body, became the fat-debab-tembam body.

p.s. Nak kurus semula. Tapi cam mustahil jer. Huhu.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE..!! (updated)

It is October 3rd, 2009, and it is LOVE 26th birthday..!!

12.00 a.m. - I wished him a very happy birthday. He asked me to sing him a birthday song while he ate the cupcake (the one which I ordered from Kak Rani, Bake2Decorate). I refused. Malu lar konon.

Then he sang the birthday song to himself, alone, with a pretty sad voice.

Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to me,
Happy Birthday to Sabri,
Happy Birthday to me.

I laughed my heart out. He have to sing the birthday song by himself, on his birthday.

Then I said, let me sing a song for him, but in Mandarin Languange. I learned from my Chinese friend, back to my SPM year's.

Chu ni sheng rhe quai lhe.
Chu ni sheng rhe quai lhe,
Chu ni sheng rhe quai lhe Darlin',
Chu nie sheng re quai lhe.

Okay. Okay. I don't know how to spelling it into word, but I know how to pronounce it. Good enough for me.

Back to several weeks ago, I had a plan in my mind. Something like to throw a surprise birthday party for him. But, last minute, tak menjadi because of some unexpected circumstances thingy happened. Never mind la, as long as he happy.

p.s. Later I will upload the surprise cupcakes together with a gift for him.
p.p.s. Thanks a lot to Dya and Sha for giving me an idea of buying that gift for him. He loves it!!

Pictures credit to Bake2decorate.